Thursday, January 05, 2006
Swimming Against the Tide
I never thought I’d find myself in agreement with NY Times columnist David Brooks, but maybe he’s on to something when he says “Power is in the kitchen. The big problem is not the women who stay there but the men who leave.”
He’s arguing with Linda Hirshman, a retired Brandeis professor, who wrote in in the December issue of The American Prospect that "The family - with its repetitious, socially invisible, physical tasks - is a necessary part of life, but it allows fewer opportunities for full human flourishing than public spheres like the market or the government."
Wrong, says Brooks. The family is where it’s really at as far as “full human flourishing.” Both men and women should take parenting and the creation of a happy, harmonious home more seriously.
I agree, although I don’t see this as an either/or debate: both men and women should have equal access to both the public and the private spheres of life. Women are more and more moving out into the public sphere, at least in the
What is it going to take to really get men to pull their full weight in the work of parenting and homemaking?
The big picture staggers me, but I try to do a little bit in my own sphere every day: I involve my sons in cooking, cleaning, laundry and all the other routine domestic chores, and their father too, for that matter. Yes, I am doing the lion’s share, particularly in food prep where I am the resident expert in my family. But at least I welcome the men in my household into the kitchen alongside me.
Women have a choice: to go along with the mainstream, with its constant barrage of sexist stereotyping, or swim against the current. It’s hard work, swimming against the tide. But it’s the only way we’re going to make real change happen.
